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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Ever too old for "Players"?

"Players..".. that word I have to admit has only ever crossed my path before from woman's conversations with regards to men.I have always been very oblivious to the whole concept as I haven't been in the position to note them and indeed ever had to care about it either.
However, the world is a changing place and tonight I had a conversation with someone who I know well who admitted to being a player. "She" is a player, and used the old adage that she was forced into this position due to her history with men previously..well, yes indeed.Bad excuse.
But this is frightening when I still haven't really taken a step out and into the ocean we call night life. With this new information my wires are crossed and what paranoid I would have liked to have left behind is back with a vengeance.
Something else which I'm sure you'll agree on that none of us enjoy is being pulled over the same "Kant".. The amount of times I have been told who I am as all men are like that really turns Mr hand into Mr Fist. I suppose this is the first step when a lassie decides to take revenge on us damn men and becomes a player.
I've already had more than one and thats more than enough to be Frank, but whose Frank?

Looking on the rather large and bright side of things the Stockholm tens is on its way and I'm once again turning out with a good bunch of guys who will try and once again win the tournement for those of us over the 35 mark.
I was out and about scouring the sales and found some cool clothes for 70% off today so hopefully if we mix and match then I'll be able to see what all the fuss is about at the tens and around Stockholm. For those of you who have read my previous posts you'll already understand that I wont be getting up to anything for thats the way i am, but maybe I should throw a line out into the sea and see what bites...yeye, sure, whatever..

To be honest, I'm still caught up with someone else so I'll have to go through that "closure" first before I go anyway which kinda suits me quite well just now I suppose. Trouble is, It's one of those troublesome closures that isn't as black and white as I'd like, too many open questions and feelings still wrapped up in the whole deal. More like a bad version of "Joseph and his technicolour ed dream coat" sounds more like the Scenario I have managed to build around myself..
And of course, there are new actors in this drama on a weekly basis so its gonna be a time before the dust settles. As I mentioned , with the tens and a bunch of ten plus other players I should be able to remove the focus...I said should, I mean hope...

Blog has been fairly quiet recently as I'm once again taking care of my two sons, which is as always amazing fun and I think I can safely say there is nothing better than hearing them laugh for hours, grin factor of ten..

So, just to wrap up for today and to give you an idea of where I am, at the moment I'm listening to "Bridge over troubled water"..get the idea...shoot me..please..shoot...

Sunday, July 22, 2007


Just went past saturday and into sunday and the phone is dead.As usual at the weekends, it usually wakes up on monday and tuesday when people have done their thing.

Today was a mad spree of buying DVD's on rea, including some real classics to try and introduce my sons to music, including a dvd I'd never seen before, AC/DC live in '77 in london, the latest Bob Dylan documentry by Scoresese and of course a double doc on Jimi Hendrix. They of course just looked at me and stated that Dad always likes the oldie dvds and films, however there was a glimpse of hope when the eldest mentioned something about a guitarist who had died..
This of course led onto a discussion regarding vomit, barbituates and rock legends like Janis Joplin , Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Bon Scott etc...
I suppose it's all individual but I find it amazing how these bands and legends just plugged and played through very basic equipment and most of them, unlike today, could perform live without backup tapes and effects which like modern movies have become more important than the scripts and actors performance. The classic "we'll just add it after we shoot" wasn't really available which makes live performances of Joan Baez and Bob Dylan at the Freemont folk festival a marvel to watch as Baez stands at least a metre from the mic but still unleashes an amazing tone.
I don't feel this has anything to do with age either, as I'm too young to have been around then, just appreciation for the real deal and not the modern crap that graces the airwaves nowadays which I of course appreciate in a different way, as I can see it for what it is and what it will leave behind.
As they say, todays newspapers are tomorrows fish and chips papers, simple but very true.

I've got a subscription to Newsweek now and its all rather depressing reading as well as enlightening.Seems like Putin has done a 180 and has been annoyed by the US of A and wants to be on the same level as them in regards to the superpower stakes.It's always more interesting to read whats happening past your doorstep and the local and national papers seem to put more effort and time into finding out which member of Robinson was raped when they where out or who had silicon implants and how it improved their chances of getting fucked under a blanket on national tv..all very frikken sad I'm afraid.

Anyway, its late and time to hit the sack,


Thursday, July 19, 2007

easy skankin'

My sons are walking around in tears in the flat..but from a brutality that we call reality humour, they are watching "Borat" and it fills a wonderful void to hear them laugh so much that they actually shed tears..
I couldn't watch it, but will try at another time..I can also recommend a rather oddball humour called "Napoleon Dynamite"..

Anyway, I'm planning a nostalgic Bob "easy Skankin" Marley sit down at some point. I dare you not to want to skin up after logging into and listening to his early concert(Music Hall Boston, MA06/08/1978 Early Show) that you'll find in the vaults and under performers..Head has been either filled with Bob all day and it gives the a new word for positiveness to the old body language..and of course you wanna join up and join his religion..a 9 minute version of Jammin' keeps me going all day..

Tonite I got a nice comment made, "best father in the world". reason being was the fact that I not only take my kids to large play parks but I get up and climb around with them for hours. I did manage to fall on my ass as my newly 10 year old challenged me on a plastic rotating log...he won of course as the other parents stared on amused at the competitiveness between us, how many arm pull ups on the bar, how long can you hand and finish off with the adventure course which was designed for the slightly "little people"..Awesome and a good reason to keep your shape and interest when you have children.

I actually changed that today, I don't have children anymore, I have called for the obvious reason that they change with age, the weather and any other peripheral.All good.

Life's being good just now. There are reasons which I've decided not to over complicate and analyse until the next time we get 40 days of rain. Rumour is the weather is gonna be great tomorrow, regardless its gonna be a great time with the "wee ones" for the next 7 days!

Other news..just bid on a Rockman. Time to set up a guitar and play thru a Rockman Solo, once a revolutionary peice of equipment but now simply analog and not digital enough for the new generation.If your interested in what a Rockman I suggest you wikky it.
Up and coming trips include London, Lyon and next weekend the Stockholm tens for the tournament.Fitness aint so hot just now so the plan is to go running from saturday and onwards and get some of the Kol Cobwebs out the lungs and hit some "mainly free weights".

Hope your all enjoying the summer on offer, with a grin factor of 10 outta 10 it would take a lot not to enjoy it!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Pink F's, "Time" a summarise of Island Harmony

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but youre older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say

Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
And when I come home cold and tired
Its good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.

Monday, July 16, 2007

An Island called Harmony...

In this crazy time we call summer , suddenly Harmony returns after many months of confusion and the feeling of running dunes.
3 days away on an island I'll call harmony, mainly for reasons that don't have to be explained but a situation that natural impulses changed anyway.Feels like the wind is definitely back in the sails and we're heading back to port.
Sometimes the dreaded feeling of never reaching the light at the end of the tunnel is suddenly rewarded by something more special and thats what the past few days gave, something special.
And sure, sometimes things do take longer to understand and put into perspective and certain situations or other dimensions give you a foresight you haven't had before.
Now its like sailing a boat in the eye of the storm and despite the calm you wonder what will happen next.
I miss some people. They are special.So that has to be addressed.
Been more ups and downs this year than any other I can remember and there is a definite change in what has become important or not as the case may be. The cutting of various ties has been a very positive move in the right direction and one I should have done earlier. So much time and effort and for what? I suppose the answer is for myself.

So, new friends made, good times and thinktank filled.
Two weeks to go before the 10s and old boys , so its time to get back to the laps and hopefully to retain the cup from last year.Always good times meeting up with the players from the past.
Then a trip to London to do interviews for assistant roles which should be interesting.
And finally a trip has to be planned for a holiday which hasn't really been on the cards due to the kidney Stone and the kids.

There is a awful lot I could write about the weekend but I don't feel words suffice, basically you had to be there and it was an experience that will be the end of one thing and the beginning of another.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

jabba, the x2 tardis and a whole lot more positives..

fookin ell...get on the X2 today , find my seat only to notice I couldn't find it due to the fact that someone was taking up two, despite her ticket stating 10, she managed to run over onto 11 Gång...and then the strench...

Got a good pal who has been real good company over in Milan, apparently her bag never made the same flight as she did so unhappy...

Really good to have some good 'uns picking up the dog n bone and contacting me on the train today.

X2 2 08 and back,
aint too fat
gotta slack on the sugar and food,
Fuckin Amateurs Dude!

G67 Buster ryhmin'

yeye , anyway I was on a mission that went well, siffin thru 26 Cvs for a job post.
Food was in a really nice Italian rest. on Sveagatan, 500 meters down from hard rock café.
Di Mare pasta was awesome as was the salad and paid by Big brother of course, if its free it's for me..but of course, nothing is ever free and thats one thing you gotta work out, your own value!
Personally speakin', I'm cheap as chips, or have been for way too long.

Book tip from train trip; The tipping point by Malcolm Gladwell/non fiction and Int.bestseller

Rain is still fallin in Gbg but 08 was hot and sunny, no fun to sit on an x2 and head for the eye of the storm.I noticed this as the x2 proudly showed 196km/h in diode lamps and the rain lashed down on the windows. Jabba had got off by by this time.

It's odd when you travel too and from in the same day and at the same time touch base with people from all regions. felt like I'd been away a week when I unlocked the door to home, but its also a great feeling when you just crash on the sofa..until the phone rings again that is and it's back to planning..

Things are feeling really good just now, more positives than negatives and you can't really lose if your on that side of the fence anyway (until the neighbour catches u..)

This weekend and an invite to an old mate, gonna b a Pripps Blå job. Weekend booked anyway and after today more calender days booked up with trips to England, Marseille Prt II and then of course I'm looking for another holiday romance with myself and a diary.

All Positive!!

Monday, July 9, 2007

Projects 2007 Prt II Myself

Last year, and already written in another post, I set off to Crete on my own.

In my single state it looks like I'll be looking for another adventure in the same way. I promised myself I would never do it again, but as this year has had more swings and roundabouts than "Balder" , I actually think it may be okay this time as I haven't just gone through a break up.
That break up was expensive in more ways than way on a human plain which indeed led me to another plane.

I have learned lessons throughout though, and now I'm racking up the types to stay away from. It's like reading an A-Z...control, jealousy, ego, selfish, mood swings- and that was just me..

You ever noticed that you have a tendency of looking around quite a bit at the opposite but not in a leching way, I feel its more of a curiosity wondering if they could be the next one.Questions, questions and not so many answers. Its a cluster F***k.

So, the plans are afoot for some new projects:

Painting.. thats right, I'm gonna have a shot and if it all ends up in tears you'll probably be able to buy an NJ original at myrorna in the future for 20kr for the frame..
First painting is already titled and called "Blue in green"..
Now if this fails due to cost (sic) then I may have to continue on the B/w which I'm still doing and set up the darkroom to get some large pics.

Basically I have to fill the empty voids in the flat and so far only the hall and kitchen have something hung.

On top of this, I have also decided to follow up my lasting plan of scripting for either a film or documentry and I have finalised the plan for a short documentry film. As I have some people who can help me on this it could end up an interesting project.
Without giving out too many details, it encompasses a sport I'm involved in , as well as a trip but the twist will be more the human aspect than the sport. The title will be along the lines of , For King and Country or similar.I'm really excited at the prospect of this project as I have worked in film previously and really have a passion for it, as well as some ideas which I hope can be put on camera. I'd also like to mix the filming with not only digital, but 8 mm / 16mm and try and get some genuine feeling on the white screen. Luckily, there are grants available and that is what I will be looking at to help the project.

Tv still sucks and now sits on a dustbin..(seriously) I've started to decorate the living room in a way that reflects my lifestyle and hopefully it will be original. minimalistic, not tacky-just different and of course, cheap for the other projx.
However, funds permitting the best thing would be to get a flat screen up on the wall and use it for the laptop as well..maybe when the weather gets even worst than it is nowadays.

I suppose you never know unless you challenge yourself, it has been successful before and I'm fairly confident I'll manage to get at least one project going before the end of the year.

Keep you posted

or Not...

After a MASSIVE flurry of letters not to kill Bill (the blog..) I have decided to do a few more entries.
You see , the break has been interesting, as well as some of the abuse received regarding how I don't put more feelings out here for all to read and the fact that I write in such a way that one has to deduce things for themselves and yes, read between the lines.
And when it comes to the touchy, feely part..well I feel there are limits, those who get more from within the 9 circles get in in written form.

Here comes an example:

What has struck me over the past weeks is the fact that for many years I have been informed how to make my heart, which is as we all know, just another muscle, how to improve itself in a cardiovascular way which in turn makes me feel better, fitter and of course manages a Cooper test within the 14 minute mark.
So, lets just presume for a wee sec, that one was to fall for someone big time. How come the muscle, the heart, how can it get "heavy" when you carry that around for a while and maybe never reach the destination you want too? Is it a simple case that the stress factor , worry, anxiety etc... simply cramps the crap out of your pump? That would answer the scientific boffs.
And then you see, if you have and still are training the pump, how come that "heaviness" still takes over regardless.
So, basically, how can we manage to give someone a piece of our heart, when indeed its only a cardiovascular pump machine that you can push to the limit running the spinning cycle hard?
Hmm..where is the tie between nostalgic/sentimental/mood fitting music and the heart? I mean, it isn't the brain that gets heavy, right? You feel it in the heart.
Some would argue that old couples who have been married for a while and loose a partner can actually die of a broken heart and will to win. So where is the "Will" DNA string?

Looking at it on a scientific level I could only guess that it's got something to do with some chemicals and stress hormones that give you those really deep anxiety feelings that make it feel like the old ticker is heavy. I feel some people may be immune to this actually.

So, for the sake of an argument I have been having this for a while.
Feelings?Just about one out of five songs I listen too kicks in a feeling.
Every move that is made, everything feels as if its for one purpose, but I couldn't tell you what that is. And maybe thats the way to go, not to over complicate but accept that sometimes the present is the present and there is no point in looking too far ahead as you may be disappointed.
I'm past that point.So despite knowing that the future 'aint orange (see ad) , I manage to keep those cramps logging up the time in the muscle we call the heart. It's 90 percent mental, 10 percent physical, right??Well, doesnt feel like that so then we're back to that enigma.

Think about it, read between the lines, how do you feel with a heavy heart, can you explain the feelings or just a bunch of clichés that phase away after the first three months?When I have an answer for the genuine parts (O.E.M) then we can discuss feelings, until then its between me and the person causing the heart flutter/murmur, which I'm told usually results in a heart attack!

Ironically we become illogical and resort to a more creative lifestyle...true or false?

Monday, July 2, 2007


Its time to kill the blog.

I'm off to Denmark on a mission.

I've decided to let the sand scripts hang for 24 hours.

Hope you enjoyed reading some of the posts, hopefully some of them made you laugh whilst others made you scratch your head and wonder when Miss Marple was gonna come Exit Stage Right and help some of the mystery's..