Fashions within the Matrix-respect

Maybe I'm fairly new to the fashions within the Matrix (being the social controlled climate) but the one word that I keep hearing more than most, and that includes self-esteem, is respect.

basically I've been out and about making conversation with many a close friend and there seems to be a great misunderstanding of the word to some, and not to others. A lot of problems would be solved if we actually all sat down and defined respect to a simpler concept than it is, as it isn't really that crystal clear when you discuss the topic.

A classic cliche is "you earn respect, otherwise you don't deserve any.."
hmm..its the "deserve any" that's fairly worrying here.Does that mean there is no respect whatsoever until earned? Is the respect gas tank emptied until somebody decides you have earned some respect gas and now you have half a tank.Be a good thing and earn some more and you will earn more..
There is something wrong with that, isn't there? I mean, who am I to dictate that he or she doesn't have my respect, she'll/he'll have to earn it. So with that way of thinking, do I earn any respect by having that attitude? Get me point.
I think that we should look instead at the concept that the respect gas tank is full from the start, so everybody gets treated with respect as I feel we'd get more mileage that way before the tank was empty.I feel this would be much more beneficial to everyone and i would hazard a guess that if we start with a full tank from people we get better mileage and may even require a bigger tank.
I write this as recently it has become much more clearer to me that it is the understanding of the understanding of respect that is causing a hell of a mess in people relationships. People expect but have a fairly interesting way of showing or giving the gas...