Not Cracking!

Ok, calm down in the cheap seats at the back.
Gonzo67 ain't cracking up with all this Confucius honesty stuff.
Life is being good, weather is awesome and lunch break is an hours meditation getting some rays.
Last night I ate with Missy T and her new guy at Bombay, Tiger Shrimps Balti, recommend that. So Missy is no Mrs and all that with Japanese theatre and all that that comes with a new date.
Still the days are filled with curiosity. Lets just say there is a frustration and a bitterness and after years and years of wondering what it is I feel I'm on the verge of cracking the code and unlocking Pandora's box.
The Blog is called Stranger in a strange land and that's what all this is about. Its a culture thing and I have suddenly realised the genuine difference between "them"(not generalising at all) and I. Hence all the speel about Integrity versus diplomacy, and yet that's what half the battle is about.
I asked my workmate today and he answered in a very honest fashion. You see, in this country the "model" is based heavily on Diplomacy and compromise. Sure, you can still be honest, but as a few people have said to me (VERY Swedish) "you pick your battles..."Its basically middle of the road and don't take a side until you know you have an advantage and then strike. Never mind Integrity and straight line open cards, cos another repeated sentence I hear is;
"Vi är konflikt rädda"...

And there you have it. The culture clash which causes so much frustration as people simply do not get it. I suppose it would be trying to know how it feels to be black.You can't,(unless u r of course).
So coming from a country that has its foundations based on integrity to a country where its all about picking your battles and not getting into any kind of conflict before you react has managed to put a rather large and bitter chip and frustration on my shoulders, as I just cannot understand , and nor can many people from my culture who have a similar reaction.

So, the more I prod and ask for explanations the more people say that's the way things are.

So, to be honest, and with everything else, if you move into a culture you should look to try and follow and abide by the cultural changes that follow the move.Or, as I was politely told by a close ex girlfriend, "if you don't like it fuck off to your own country"..indeed.
And perhaps this is what has been the frustration for many years, the non ability to compromise my integrity which simply is.
There aren't many choices left. I can't grumble anymore and every time I simply ask for something or straight talking I get in a complicated diplomatic crisis meeting as I'm obviously a trouble maker, a provoceur just making conflicts. Basically straight talking.
It's the classic Önskmål versus Krav again and maybe we can go back and see the evolution from Jantes law.
Ironically, in a country that became such a successful high standard middle class socialist state off the profit made in the year 1939-1945.Obviously very good diplomacy and compromise involved there as the troops headed to Norway to launch an attack on my own country.
The money has now long gone and the consequences will follow, as you have probably noticed.
It's also ironic that it's still a "neutral" country.It was then as well..

We come back to the question of how to approach this integrity dilemma.
As I'm the stranger its down to me and not those who have their backbone removed of marrow.
The same ex said that in society every knows you have to go with the flow, you have to sell out to ensure you gain better social status, better wage, better blabla.
And that's what is the harsh reality is , if I want to retain my persona and integrity I simply cannot stay.I just wouldn't be me.

To finish on a good note, I received my birthday present from my closest of friends who left the country for the same reasons years ago.We used to live together and lets just say it was the odd couple personified.The present mirrored this.

So a new day tomorrow, Friday and a flight to Basel, Switzerland.The country of my birth and burial place of a Sister and Father.
And of course the "charisma by-pass" operation to remove all the marrow from my spine to ensure I survive a wee bit longer.

áyé