Britain Rules the Waves...

...well, it did around 1655 or there abouts.
Every time I make a short trip over to Blighty I realise either how smart Scandinavians are , or just how stupid and "put up" we Brits are. I've obviously been here so long my name is changing to Nisse Jonsson..

The Classic, wash the hands..simple? NO! Its called a mixer..bit of hot, bit of cold, bit more hot, bit more cold, too hot...ouch! and of course you have to fill the basin or swish your hands thru steaming hot water followed by the "near ice " experience.*suck*

Oh, I know, I'll have a "quick" shower before dinner..drip......drip..........drip..............not sure why which engineer was guilty of producing such huge water pipes so you'd need a nuclear reactor to push any kind of pressure out of a shower head, but I'm sure he wasn't roman...or maybe he was and Britain still haven't uprated the viaducts from Hadrians days.

Anyway, got bless you if your in for washing your hair and you have lots of it, just to soak it is difficult enough but to actually get the shampoo and conditioner out...drip...drip...drip....maybe that's why so many English woman appear to have greasy hair..they simply gave up.
My mother , bless her, bought a new "Power Shower" (sounds like something from andralånggatan..) and as she proudly pressed the electric button it kinda went..drip..drip...squirt..drip...squirt...drip....dead. They must have seen her coming.

Last but not least, wall to wall carpeting. A deep shag carpet (andralånggatan again?..) that you can basically never clean fully even if you use "shake and Vac", which your meant to sprinkle on the carpet ( resembles talcum powder) and then leaves a nice smell and removes all dirt.yeah, right, looks more like the delousing powder they use in the army and prisons when the inmates get moved in. The carpets are of course attacked 24/7 by the more normal and understandable concept of wearing shoes indoors...I was raised to believe this was perfectly normal but I'm now a changed man.Wooden floors requiring no carpets, bare feet or slip ons and a Scandinavian style bathroom.The standard cannot be measured!

Now that I was in London we did actually have double glazed windows in the guesthouse. All pretty exotic anyway and the problem now is like the hot / cold water in the fact that the heaters either make it like a botanical gardens or its bloody freezing. So we went from Antarctic the first night to Sahara desert in the morning.

The flats I have stayed in in Scotland are a lot more medieval, the windows rattle in the wind as the putty surrounding the single pain is cracked and ready to break. I swear it feels as if the window is porous when it rains and the wind comes straight through you.
This was such a problem when I lived in Scotland that the old folks were dying of hypothermia (no joke) so the Conservative Government released adverts on TV with "wrap up warm, or die, and its not our fault!" Word!

So, even after a short stay it really is nice to come back to my flat, jump in the shower and blast away, then walk around bare foot on wooden floors with the perfect temperature..yep, I'd miss that if I ever moved!

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