snippets

Must be the weather, or maybe the trips and the company, maybe the rumour mill that certain persons are asking questions about my status and showing interest.
The days in the swamp are past and it's finally time to actually start concentrating on the Grand plan list.
This would include understanding the word "sorry" and when you should use it within the right context and to the right people who deserve hearing it.
Friends will be friends and it always surprises me that those friends that you can count on only a few fingers are the ones who can read you the best even through just reading the snippets on your blog. There are people who think they know your outward two dimensional personality but a few good men or woman who see you as to who you are and what your needs are.
I suppose it's all about caring, which makes the rest of lives relationships pretty transparent..

Age and responsibility seems to bring on new anxiety's regarding plans about building a family and running the model citizen existence.I actually do envy people who embrace this model of society and are genuinely happy to live the simple lifestyle.For those of you who missed the boat then I'll join you for a coffee.The rest can do the 9 to 5 and ensure they're in the sofa for "mamma's stories" which churn out the idealistic society dream.
Ever noticed that more people tend to enjoy British programs and films than their American equivalents. That's because the Brits tend to be more realistic than their American cousins.
This in my opinion can actually effect an entire nation.Think about it.Feed the machine.

Ever really fucked up? I mean , really fucked up a situation? They make you cringe when your alone and you remember them.I have one about climbing up a balcony to get into the balcony door and then killing an ironing board with one punch as I felt sorry for myself that I'd dumped a girlfriend and she'd moved on. Cringe..but isn't that typical.

Why is it when your in a relationship you tend to have more opportunities with other woman than when your single? Is it the desperation that's so transparent? Problem is if your not desperate then you don't meet anyone , so after a while the desperation sinks in and you end up in the same place and get nothing anyway.I wonder what the odds are that you actually meet someone who you could be happy with for the rest of your life? Is it all about compromise? I don't think so, it should be worked at but at the same time it should flow.The silence when a couple sit in a living room and read their respective books is as important as the lack of it.
When you get in that comfort zone you should embrace it and neglect the neighbours grass. Sometimes its a rubbish tip as opposed to a bowling green.

Everybody has issues.Too short, too tall,too fat, too skinny, too shy, too overbearing and the list goes on and on and on. Some people actually do something about it to drastic measures whilst others are content- or play on the fact that they are. What would you change if you could. That's always a good chat to have after a couple of bottles of wine and some whiskey and more importantly why? Sometimes people tell you things at a tender age and they change you for life.
When I was 14 my girlfriend at the time ( a 6 year affair) told me that when you kiss you know your doing wrong if your mouth or lips get wet...That left its mark for over 15 years...
During a 7 month break I met who I believed was the love of my life (at the tender age of 19) who left me without telling me why.It took two years before I knew the truth as to why and as it turned out I wasn't a good enough looker for her (she boxed in a higher class..). That scar still bleeds.

You see, the cliches are there are one liners and experiences that are put into words that are used so often they become a cliche. We tend to beat ourselves up pretty bad and cliches are useful to take a step up.
My favorite which I added some text too (or which came from some source which I can't remember) is the one about time heals all emotional scars. I would add that that depends on how deep the wound is, as some scars open up now again as they never heal.


Anyway, things are really good just now. Just writing some random stuff, no need to call the paramedics. In fact I haven't been this happy for a while so I hope I can stay in this zone.
However, just as the see-saw of life gets up on one end you know the other end goes down, that's the nature of things. Moving towards the centre would make life easier but less interesting, so better to live at the end of the beam and deal with the see-saw effects. As I'm heading up some very serious issues are happening elsewhere that require a lot of support before anything else gets in the way.Somebody needs me more than ever and its a soul searching exercise as usual and a guilt trip.

Next up though, a trip to Paris perhaps to stand under a floodlit Eiffel tower in the rain without caring. Or how about a European tour in a fast car with somebody you never get bored of sharing time with and who doesn't have a music preference that makes you want to get out of the car.
Or maybe just that comfort zone silence when you know your sharing time with the right person who is secure within themselves.

Before then though I have a bag to pack again and ´some decisions to make that will leave memories for others for the rest of their lives. Sometimes you forget how much you can also leave to others.It's a huge responsibility as you don't want to disappoint.

Life is as difficult as you make it. See you for that coffee, we'll wave the boat off.
Feels like I've moved into the same village from "A hundred years of solitude" and my neighbour is Woody Allen whose reading his new script called "Awkward".

If this has also come across in a similar way as the book mentioned above don't worry, I never read over what I've already written so the moment has gone.
Keep in mind, the eyes are the windows of the soul. Thats good insurance anyway.

Cheers